am I going crazy, or coming back from it.

I sit here, in complete serenity, why it was that I have spent the last six years of my life in an altered mind state. The gift I was given at birth, is mental clarity. was it my inability to deal with the overwhelming thoughts that came my way, or the laziness of having all of my thoughts slowed down to a point where I could catch and analyze them, or was I trying to tell myself that being stagnant was OK, as long as I was going somewhere mentally. I was disillusioned within myself. to think that I was going anywhere. Being in an altered state of mind not only held me back amongst myself, but amongst the peers that I did not meet. There is only one state of mind, and thats the one you are in right now.